The Inside-Out Beauty

Profile of a Warrior

2011-11-10T10:15:00.005-07:00

A warrior is fierce, heaven-bent on protecting the honor of his King.
A warrior has her mind set on her King, who has sent her to gain victory over the enemy.
A warrior knows when to rest, so that he can return to battle refreshed and renewed.
A warrior loves deeply, knowing that she may die that day, in the heat of the fighting.
A warrior doesn’t live his life for himself, and is willing to die for the cause.
A warrior lives simply, not dragging around lots of things everywhere she goes.
A warrior is well-protected, and would never go out to battle without his armor.
A warrior is loyal, and will sacrifice her life for her friend.
A warrior stays with his army, and doesn’t isolate from them.
A warrior is honest when she is tired or wounded and asks for reinforcements.
A warrior keeps his eyes on hope, and goes out confident of the destruction of his enemies.
A warrior doesn’t give up when things seem impossible, but she presses in harder and expects breakthrough.
A warrior keeps perspective, and he doesn’t measure the final outcome by small battles lost.
A warrior fights as much for her own heart and life as for the one next to her, knowing that she is as valuable as her friend.
A warrior needs no honor or accolades to know he has done well; he values most the words of his King.
A warrior listens to her leaders, and respects their authority.
A warrior makes no compromises to let the enemy have passage, and he fights offensively to drive them back.
A warrior knows that without the whole, she has little effectiveness, but that, joined together, there is great power.
A warrior knows who he is, his strengths and weaknesses, and doesn’t try to pretend they don’t exist, but works with them and others to be the most effective.
A warrior’s life is the battle.

NaNoWriMo

2011-11-09T10:27:00.001-07:00

I'm writing a novel in the month of November, and it's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. It's an amazing thing to sit down and create your own world, but sometimes it feels like everything is a mess and not going the way you thought it might. I'm so glad that God doesn't get as frustrated with His Story as I do with mine. :]

21. Not the game, the age

2011-10-22T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hello,
it's not often that I post on my actual birthday, but I feel like this is a pretty important one. :] I turn 21 today, which somehow means a ton more in this country (USA) than being 18. So...now I can legally drink alcoholic beverages, but I'm not planning to go wild with it. I guess for me, it means that I want to be who I want to be. I mean, who I am now really is forming who I'll be for the rest of my life. I want to make my life count, for the One who gave me Life. That means that there's always something to celebrate!

In Him,
Camila

Escape!

2011-10-17T18:03:00.001-07:00

Is it bad that one of the first things I think of when I see this word is Dory from Finding Nemo trying to sound it out on the boat? But on a more serious note, I would say that an obsession with non reality and fantasy is a big problem. Even if the form of escape is something positive, like art or music, it can quickly become something that takes priority over real people and real responsibilities. In the words of a guy in my class that I had a discussion with today "People are running from their problems." I asked him if he thought that if people really lived in reality and dealt with things from that viewpoint, if it would solve any problems. He responded that it absolutely would! I asked him why, and he responded that if people were actually facing their problems and dealing with them, there wouldn't be a need for drugs and other forms of escape to get away from the problem itself.
So I guess my question is, if people are so comfortable living in their fantasy worlds, what would induce them to come out of there, feel the cold water on their faces, face what they've been running from? What's the incentive? What would they want more than their own dream, even if it's not real? And also just as important, what has happened to society that living a fantasy is more desirable than living in the world in front of them, and actually enjoying what reality has to offer? My hypothesis is that people don't feel like reality, as it is today, is actually worth living in. But isn't one of the issues that the problems they see that they don't like aren't being solved by and large because people are running from them? It seems to me that it's a cycle.
But what is it that will pull people out of this, to start looking around and really seeing what's going on? We value our comfort in this country. We value the illusion that everything is good in the world if it's good in our personal lives. And if it's not even good there, we have our escape. It seems like a neat and tidy little system. But what about all the people that are unseen because of this viewpoint? What about the girls who are abused and are recruited into prostitution before they're even 18? What about the ones who abuse them? We have to take a good hard look at reality and let it sink in that we, the ones living in this world full of problems, are the ones who must take action if we want anything to change. With God's help and power, there is hope to see change and transformation. But we do have to get up and do something. Rise up, world changers! You are needed. We are needed.

New season; new things!

2011-10-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hello...
It has been way too long since I've sat down to write...and I don't just mean "de blog". I used to write all the time, just for the heck of it. Now, it's rare for me to make time to write, and often I put it off. Even this--this is a guilt post, just out of reaction of the horror of the amount of time since my last one. But I'm hoping that because I'm forcing myself to write, even in a small way, that my writing coals will be re-sparked and ignited. Don't get me wrong, I still love to write; I'm just very out of practice.
So...this becomes a way to encourage the writer in me again, and keep y'all updated.
So...as to what's new, I joined a small Christian dance company, which is inspiring me to dance more during the week and also a great place to connect with people as well. I am taking four classes at a community college, and enjoying that. I am in the process of finding a job as well. Oh, and in less than a week, I turn 21. How crazy is that?? Okay, maybe I'm the only one who thinks that's crazy. But it's exciting. I feel older already. :P

~The Inside-Out Beauty~

I keep dropping the ball

2011-06-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a whole month since I last wrote a blog post...crazy! I guess the biggest news recently is that my best friend and boyfriend who I haven't ever met before is visiting me, and he's coming...wait for it...TODAY!! :) So yeah, that's pretty much all that's on my mind. ;) Will write more soon!

Plans, hopes, dreams, and surrender

2011-05-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

Aren't there always things we want, things we long for? I find the rhythm and balance between my desires and God's dreams for me is sometimes hard to find. As long as I keep my eyes on Him, things make more sense, but as soon as I look away, it's so much harder to find my way. I'm so grateful for His love and guidance. Jesus is my ROCK. When I stand on Him as my truth, I will not be shaken.

New season; new start

2011-05-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

The chapter with YWAM has closed, but God doesn't leave things hanging. Instead my life is wonderfully full here in Arizona. I love being a part of the youth ministry at my church (Vineyard Community Church) and slowly integrating into the worship team for the main services. God has been blessing these days with bucketfuls of peace and joy. What a wonderful life!

Why are we surprised?

2011-04-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like after all of the prayers God has answered recently, I shouldn't be surprised that He continues to be faithful and do the things that He's promised, but I am! I ask Him to open doors, and I see them flinging open right and left. I ask Him to give me opportunities to serve and love people, and He sent me to Malaysia for 2 and a half! Wow. I just sense that there is so much FAVOR over this season. I want to write more, but it's just shameful how little I've posted, so I'll post this now, and write more soon!

Home! but not settling.

2011-03-09T13:13:00.012-07:00

I know, it's been SO long. But it's better to write now than wait another number of

months, right? ;)

Where do I even begin? School of Worship was not what I expected; it was so much more!
I grew in security, confidence, and love of God. I made some friendships that will last a lifetime, deep ones that I know will stand the test of time and distance.

Outreach to the United States was incredible--it was a specific focus on youth and bringing the message of the Father heart of God. We had an original production formed from 4 of our testimonies (mine was one of them, almost exactly like it happened for me) and the School of Worship team worked lights (I teamed up with a lovely Mexican girl for this) and sound (We had a Chilean girl and a great guy from Nigeria working on these :) Our band is pretty multicultural!

I am home! but not settling. God is already opening up opportunities for me :). I am planning to work with the youth group at my home church (Vineyard Community Church in Gilbert) and do some childcare for some conferences, including one in Malaysia (that one is coming up in early April, and I'm flying back on Easter)!!

I want to start posting every week or every other week minimum, so you can be looking for more exciting new things that God is doing, and feel free to comment here or send me an e-mail at outofthebox.beautiful@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you.

Praise God! He has done so much!

First week of School of Worship!

2010-10-01T05:59:00.005-07:00

hello Friend of Camila (FOC)! Hope this post finds you all well and happy.
Well, I can't believe it's only Friday of the first week. So much has happened in the way of spiritual growth and revelation and creativity in the past four days that it feels more like two or three weeks! I'm glad that my days are so full; it gives me very little time to be homesick or miss my family. I dearly love them, but most of the time I try to put them out of my mind, only because otherwise it hurts a lot.
On a happier note, School of Worship. God has more than proved and confirmed that I'm supposed to be here. The last week has been much more than incredible. I will try to sum it up somehow, but I probably won't do it justice.

Monday:
We had a worship night with the discipleship training school and God's presence was so thick. There are a lot of worshipers in that group.

Tuesday:
We had a jam session together, all 15 of us, so that the leaders could figure out what cell bands to put us into. That was awesome, and brought a lot of unity.
I started reading the book "God Songs" that we have a book report on, and got really excited about the potential for writing worship songs. What especially stuck out to me was "When you get an idea, WRITE IT DOWN". But I wasn't expecting to use that knowledge so soon...God woke me up at about 2 am and started flowing words, concepts, and ideas through my head. It was as if he was asking me, "Will you be faithful no matter what time it is?" And I'm glad I did wake up. I actually never went back to sleep, and finally came out to the lobby because I felt he had a lot more to talk to me about, so I just never went back to sleep that day. BUT--it was so worth it!

Wednesday:
One of the staff members came in and talked about the significance of the Shofar in the context of the Bible and Jewish history, and actually quoted one of the verses God had put on my heart the night before!!

Thursday:
We had a beautiful morning session and then a powerful afternoon one. And then a party at night! dancing :)

Friday: Well, that's today! Who knows what could happen?

Resting In Grace,
Camila

New month of possibilities

2010-09-07T12:17:00.009-07:00

Needless to say, it has been way too long since I've written on here. And unfortunately, not a tremendous lot of exciting things have happened, so there isn't a lot to catch you all up on.
However there is anticipatory news that is very much a dream come true for me.
On September 25th, I head off to a School of Worship in East Texas and serve God with my voice and musical abilities.
I will write more about it later, but I just feel that I should post SOMETHING...it's atrocious that it's been this long.
More later and I hope you all are well! :)

a symphony of extremes

2010-07-21T10:41:00.004-07:00

"Our full range of emotions is our palette with which we bring color to our lives."
~Anne Copeland~

I think sometimes I forget this in the squish and pull and demands of life. Contrary to what people think, ignoring the demands don't exclude them from life, they just make them a curled up tickley thing at the back of your brain that wakes up once in a while and makes you feel quite uncomfortable (I'm not saying you personally have this problem, but I get tired of always saying "me" and "I"). But really, when I ignore the dreams, the desires, the feelings, and decide to just live this lukewarm life, I end up only living vicariously, living through someone else's eyes. What a sad fall from the precipice of desire. Just because it's a precipice, and dangerous in places, doesn't mean I should hide in a cave. It means I should learn to navigate it safely, to procure the proper tools, to find the right one to pull me up safely and cradle me against his chest. But running away quite cheats me, and the people that love me most.
I want to find that full range again and learn how to navigate the precipice. I want to do things in my life, to try, and to try my best. I want to learn better how to live, not just survive. I thought about this question the other day.
What would you do if you were going to die tomorrow? Because I could, not to be morbid, and I don't want people to say that all I did on my last day was surf facebook or do laundry or clean my room, although those are perfectly acceptable things in the balance of others. At the end of every day, I want to be able to say that I loved extravagantly, that I forgave generously, that I gave of myself with all the passion that I used to hold back. I want to be fully captured by the One who rescued me, and continues to. I need his colors in my life, the beautiful and full, rich colors. Let me offer a question to those who find this ringing true with them:
If you really were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today? If it's something you can do, why not do it? What's holding you back? That's my bit for the day. Feel free to comment on this; I'm interested in your thoughts. :)

Staying up late can have benefits.

2010-07-18T16:39:00.003-07:00

I was thinking about how to simplify my life rather late at night when inspiration struck. I have it here in the form of an acronym because I wanted to chew over the concepts, and what better way to do that than writing it?

Stay focused on one thing at a time.

Indulge in interests—but schedule them in.

Minimize time wasted.

Prioritize activities and people.

Less stuff.

Imagine the ideal in your life--and then work toward it.

Feel free to say no.

You can’t do it alone.

I have a feeling that following this will help me a lot in balancing out my life, but I definitely can't do it without God's help. So this is one of the things I'm going to be working toward. One of those "interests" I'm scheduling in is a lot more writing time. The way to improve in writing is to write--and to write a lot. So this is a thrown together combination plate of what I've been thinking about recently. Maybe I'll give you all a more coherent post one of these days ;)

HELLO!

2010-07-15T12:47:00.003-07:00

I sort of feel like I'm resurrecting this blog from the funk it's been in for 2 months, along with its writer. That doesn't mean there weren't some amazing times, but it has been an odd stage since I got back from Texas and the ministry just sort of stopped. I am going to try out a bible study/hangout group with several high school girls I know, so hopefully that'll be a good way to pour in some of the knowledge and wisdom and also hear their hearts as well. :)
Right now my life is pretty low-key, although my relationship with God is great. I feel very close to him, connected in honesty and truth. It's a good place to be.
I am also looking for a job, having applied at Frys supermarket and Starbucks, and hoping one of those works out :)
I have a lot of scattered thoughts right now, but I just thought I should get back on the blogtrain and this has got me going again, so that's a start. :)
Love you all and hope this post finds you well in both body and spirit!

joyfully,
Camila

I know...it's been ages

2010-05-25T16:37:00.009-07:00

It's shameful...I haven't blogged since March 12th. I mean to remedy that right now, no fear.
To the people who actually read this, there is way too much in my heart and mind right now to fit in a blog post. but...I'll give it a shot. I owe you all some sort of news ;)

I am semi-overwhelmed by the myriad of emotions right now, but the thing that stands out above all the feelings is that I am not the same person that I was a year ago. That in itself is such an incredible encouragement. So even thought there's people I knew for ten months that I may never see again on this side of Heaven, my roots are in Jesus. I just have this feeling that there's so much more to come. God has great plans for me. I've been dreaming with him.

One of the things that came out of Haiti was my reawakening passion for both Teaching and Worship. Interesting combination, I know. So I'm looking at the two programs that correspond with these. There's a nine-month school with Youth With a Mission called Teachers for the Nations that I'm praying about, maybe as early as this August.

Oy, how do I sum up any of what I've experienced? I'm going to have to do this in sections.

Before you know it, it's here.

2010-03-12T15:49:00.004-07:00

I have so missed blogging, but I have had a hard time coming up with the words I wanted.

Well, I'm past due to write SOMETHING, even if it's not brilliant or even very good at making sense.

It's March, which is hard to believe. It doesn't feel like it's been almost three months since I started my School of Evangelism, but it has. And it has been amazing getting to know the new Discipleship Training Schools that started the same time. There are some of the most crazy and fun people in them.

As for outreach, praise the Lord! I have all the money I need and more. I have enough that I can afford to help out some people on my team who are still struggling; He is so faithful!

I feel so uber-scattered right now, but I am going to write more soon. Thanks for reading, even my all over the place thoughts.

~me

A New Stage

2010-02-19T14:53:00.004-07:00

I can't believe it's already mid-February, and a new part of my SOE (School of Evangelism) is starting! We had a really good week of talking about offenses and forgiveness, and I feel that there's a wall between me and God that's coming down in a big way. So that's been great.

On the other hand, I've been more sore this week and the last than I have in a very long time, so if you could be praying for that, that would be awesome.

Next week is Missions Prep week, which means that we practice all the stuff that we're going to be doing in Haiti, and also when we start meeting as a whole team and praying and worshipping :)

So I'm praying that I have energy and motivation and that I'm especially alert to God and ready to do battle, because the Enemy of our souls will be trying to bring the house down around us. Praise God that He has already conquered and that all we have to do is stand in that victory. That's such great news :)

However, I am still battling a lot of lies and wrong thinking that I have carried around for years, and it's so easy to just live in them and not fight, not realize what I am doing to myself and to the people around me. I want to grit my teeth and wade into the mess so that I can come out better on the other side, by the grace of God. I am full of expectation and expectancy that God is going to be glorified in this area of my life! :)

An escaped analogy

2010-02-17T15:55:00.002-07:00

analogies are slippery;

thought of one this morning

and it was gone by afternoon

turned to pick up common sense

and it disappeared

squeezed out by reality

the ketchup of life.

I prefer tomatoes.

Cherry, preferably.

Much in my heart; hard to express

2010-02-15T18:16:00.003-07:00

I know that's kind of a mouthful for a blogpost title, but that's really why I haven't written in a while. My School of Evangelism has been challenging and changing me--well, God has been, ultimately. But there are teachers and teachings that definitely make me think and reason through things I might never think about. The other thing that's blowing my mind is how God will start talking to me about something and then it shows up in class the next day, and that's not uncommon. I love how God keeps connecting concepts to real life, because I don't really know something until He shows he how to apply it. :)

For example, I am learning that when I do the "silly little things" God asks me to do, it builds our relationship so much more than when I do the things I know I'm supposed to do. In other words, when he says "Go this way instead of that way" or "eat green peppers and tomatoes and cucumbers with Italian dressing", I do it because it blesses him that I care what he thinks, even if it seems silly. And then, it turns out not to be silly at all, because all of those steps lead me to deep relationship and intimacy and that brings out the best in me and then helps bring out the best in others around me as I live the way God intended...

Wow. It just awes me how God works!

That's all for now. More soon :)

Incomprehensible Changes

2010-02-03T19:45:00.005-07:00

there's a part from "The Host" that perfectly describes how I'm feeling.(slightly changed to fit my life with God.

“But when He touched me, it was deeper and slower than the wildfire, like the flow of molten rock far beneath the surface of the earth. Too deep to feel the heat of it, but it moved inexorably.” ~The Host by Stephanie Meyer~

It seems like that's what's going on with me. I don't always feel things happen so well, but there's something deep God's doing in me. And no matter how loud everything else gets, I know He's there and I know He's changing things.

That describes my week, and it was intense.

Wasting Time

2010-01-26T14:34:00.009-07:00

I have been wanting to write a post of processing, not only the things that I have been learning in my School of Evangelism, but about a book I just finished reading. It's called "The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath" and it's by Mark Buchanan. There were a lot of good thoughts in it and one of the things that impacted me most was the difference between "chronos" and "kairos", basically the time as a slaver and a taskmaster and the kind of time you actually notice and enjoy and experience life.

On the other side of that, God has been convicting me about wasting time. There's a lot of difference between savoring time and squandering it. And along with receiving time as a gift, there are always certain ways to use it BEST. He showed me the other day something that I found really interesting. He told me that if I do things on time or even ahead of time, it opens up the way and opportunity for Him to use me in other's lives in ways that Ifo don't expect. I'll write more on this when I've processed it more.

As for prayer requests, I would love to have some extra energy and inspiration for writing.

It would also be great if I could stop drinking coffee because I think it is weakening my immune system immensely. So pray that process would go smoothly. Thanks! God Bless!

God is Faithful

2010-01-20T21:28:00.003-07:00

Psalm 20. Go read it; it's amazing. :)

my version (to make it relevant to me as a woman)

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.

May he remember all your all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he answers her from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.

O Lord, save your princess! Answer us when we call!

I would love it if you guys would pray this over me. :)

Have a lovely Wednesday night.

Beauty and the Mess

2010-01-16T15:22:00.003-07:00

The title of this post is also the name of one of my favorite Nickel Creek songs. It's just the way life is; the good with the bad, the bizarre with the normal, the beauty with the mess. That's one of the things that God's been teaching me, to take everything together, in stride, in peace. That doesn't mean that I let whatever I want into my life, but when stuff doesn't go the way I expect it to, He wants me to keep breathing, to let Him work through the problems or strangeness.

What an incredible God we have. He designed things to be perfect, and even though we mess a lot up, He's able to bring such unity and redemption and beauty to life.

I just want to learn how to keep abiding. If I could tattoo my soul, it would be the word ABIDE in large bold letters and probably in another language so it looks cool.

And these days have been chilly, but beautiful. :)

There's a TIme for Everything

2010-01-14T22:03:00.004-07:00

My mind is so full that it's hard to even pull out solitary words. It's a mush of thoughts and ideas and concepts and new understandings. However, because I am a verbal processor, I will try to make sense of it all.

One of the things God has been showing me in different ways is the beauty and importance of balance in my life. He's been telling me that there's a time for everything I need to do in a day, and he doesn't put things in order to take the fun out of life, but to make it more meaningful. I'm still learning this in a sort of trial-and-error way.

Another thought I've been pondering is where my treasure really is, where my heart goes to be filled, what I value most. I want the answer to be "God" every time, but it isn't. There are all sorts of things that I place a high value on, activities and passions that vie for my attention. Writing, singing, socializing, and it goes on. I want to learn what it really means to love God, not just to be loved by Him.

So that's all for today, because I am fairly exhausted. Oh, and please pray against headaches. I'm so sick of them. Goodnight.

Beautiful Monday

2010-01-11T21:52:00.003-07:00

I don't know if I've ever written about this, but I generally love Mondays, and this was a Beautiful Monday for various reasons. First of all, it was significantly warmer than it was this past week and weekend, and I therefore enjoyed being outside much more. Also after the afternoon class, I got to have a lovely, long, and much-needed nap. I ended up cozily in my sleeping bag until dinner :)

Second, there was the first small group meeting, and it was really good to discuss and hear from each other what we're processing. As some of you know, I am always thinking and my mind never stops--so it was really wonderful to get some of that out :)

Thirdly, God was just...around. And telling me stuff.

Tomorrow can be amazing too.

First Friday

2010-01-08T15:52:00.005-07:00

I can't believe it's already Friday of the first week of SOE. I already know it's going to go so fast. I love coming back to see friends but this program is so much more than that. It's deeper, somehow going to be vital to the rest of my life. It's definitely more than a feeling, but I can't put my finger on it. But even in the last week, God has been so close and personal to me. I can honestly say that I have invited Him more fully into my life, to be present and active in what I choose and who I talk to, etc.

Oh, and it was 19 degrees F last time I checked.

crazy, huh?

Halfway through the first week

2010-01-06T20:06:00.002-07:00

Today was definitely pretty full. I can understand why they said that SOE would be busier. That's why I love having evenings mostly free after I come back from cafeteria cleanup.

Once I get used to being challenged intellectually every day--which I figure will take about a month--I think I'll start to really enjoy it.

Please pray for wisdom, strength, peace, and the ability to think clearly about what I believe and how to love God and other people.

I know this one's short, but I'm still figuring out how to get all the thoughts in my head out into articulate words. So bear with me, and please do pray.

In Texas Again!

2010-01-04T20:07:00.005-07:00

I got to Texas yesterday at about 1:10 and then got a ride to the base. The first thing I noticed when I stepped out of the airport was that it was VERY cold. Apparently we're going to hit 17 degrees sometime this week at night, which is the coldest it's gotten in 14 years in East Texas!
That's pretty crazy, huh?
Okay so there were definitely some more significant things than the weather, but really, when you live in Arizona (the warm southerny part) your body is kind of in shock when it's that cold.
Anyways, the first day of Lecture Phase was AMAZING, incredible, and all that jazz. But I can't give you all those adjectives and then walk away. So...let me give you a brief rundown.
I skipped breakfast for need of sleep, and then went to base prayer.
Then we had a morning classtime as an SOE (School of Evangelism) which was really more of an overview of what Kim's priorities were and talking about our class verse, and then in the afternoon we had our first speaker, and he definitely challenged me in an awesome way. I'll write more about this when I understand more of what he's talking about. But the basic topic is a narrow road vs. a wide one, which is interesting because this is really similar to what one of our guys talked about in Brazil. But yeah, and then after that God called me away for a few hours to just be with him, listen, and write down what he said. And that was an incredible time.
God is definitely after all of my heart this year. 2010 is going to be, in a word, fabulous.

signing off for now. hope all of you are doing well. feel free to comment or e-mail me :)

It's 2010!!

2010-01-01T17:16:00.004-07:00

So I was thinking about resolutions last night, and I decided I wanted to make ones that were practical and that I could actually fulfill, so here's my list:

1. Pack lighter.
2. Spend less time online and more face time
3. Fall back in love with God.
4. Drink more water
5. Write A LOT.
6. Be PASSIONATE about learning new things and life in general
7. LOVE MORE.

So that's my two cents for the new year, and I'm always thinking about something, so I'll post something more soon.
God bless you all!

It's Almost Christmas! (and 2010)

2009-12-22T16:49:00.011-07:00

This year has gone so fast, and so many things have happened. God has a wonderful way of turning things around and redeeming them into beauty. Here are some examples ;)

Even though I wasn't supposed to go to Boston for the Creative Arts in Worship DTS, God used the time when I came back to prepare me for the DTS in Texas, and since that was the right place, I felt peace as soon as I walked onto the campus.

Even though I didn't handle my romantic relationships in the best way, God has been gracious and helped me to learn many things through them. I thank God for both of the guys I was dating this past year because they showed me things about life and myself that I wouldn't otherwise know.

Even though I was struggling with cutting and depression when I went into YWAM in Texas, God delivered me from both and used my story in Brazil to bring hope to a 12-year old girl, and used my story in the U.S. to bring encouragement and build faith for the believers around me :)

Even though I was so stuck inside myself and old coping mechanisms, God gently loosened my hold on control and brought me to humility and surrender, and therefore freedom. I really have begun to learn the meaning of "It's only in your will that I am free."

Even though I am still prone to wander, God is always, always faithful! Thank you, Lord!

As Christmas is very close and then the new year, I want to have some things to look toward in this new year, but there is a place for reflection on all God has done in 2009.

I know I haven't written in a while, but I am here again, planning to take another five-month stint in Texas for YWAM School of Evangelism in January. For those of you who pray, I would really appreciate your prayers. I have already been feeling that this will be more of a challenge, more work, more soul-searching, purging, glazing and firing, and that I need to be ready to give my all to this.

That's all for now!
Have a lovely Christmas!!

Back in Arizona

2009-11-18T23:21:00.007-07:00

I flew into Arizona on Monday, and my house has never seemed so quiet. That's not necessarily bad, but I am so used to my peers being everywhere. Especially mealtimes are hecka strange. Since I ate with 10 other people for the past 6 weeks and much more than that in the cafeteria for three months, our four-person dinners seem so small.
On the other hand, when I walked into my empty bedroom, it seemed enormous! Everything is extremely different, except for the people. They are mostly the same. It's me that's changed so much. I still enjoy the same things, but they don't drive me the way they did. I miss the worship times we had at YWAM. I think I'll have to learn guitar better in the next seven weeks so I can have some personal worship times.
I want to tell more about Brazil soon, but right now I'm just processing being back with my family--which is wonderful--and figuring out what my priorities are in the next seven weeks.
Oh, I suppose the phrase "the next seven weeks" may not have the same significance for you that it does for me. Hmm. Basically, I feel that God is calling me back to do the second school that YWAM Tyler offers, the School of Evangelism, which is also five months long and starts in January. So if you could be praying for God to make that abundantly clear and to show me what it is that I need to do to cooperate in preparing and fundraising for that, I would so appreciate it.
If you live in Arizona and you're reading this, call me and we'll get together sometime soon! I've missed people so much...don't think that I'm JUST pining for YWAM ;)
God bless everyone who's reading this, and if you want prayer for anything, feel free to shoot me an e-mail or comment at outofthebox.beautiful@gmail.com :)

with peace,
Camila

Outreach...in one post? I don't think so

2009-11-13T09:42:00.014-07:00

So I know it's been just about forever since I wrote, otherwise known as almost a month, but I am now back in Texas as of Tuesday morning and I am bursting with everything that God has done and is continuing to do now! :) Wow, that was a long sentence! Were you out of breath reading it? I was. ;)
So, wow...How do I explain my outreach in Brazil when I haven't even completely processed and communicated what happened in my lecture phase? Well, let's just say that God not only used me to bless people in Brazil, but I really fell in love with the country, the people, the culture, and the work that he's doing there. Even when we were told to pray about where God wanted us to go on outreach, my heart was jumping out of my chest for Brazil, and it still is.
Some of the main things that we did were street evangelism and working with all sorts of schools, as well as partnering with both the Recife (a main city in Brazil)base and a church. I was actually a clown for my outreach, so I got to see a lot of kids smile and laugh at our skits. I was also a part of a drama called Silent Movie, which helps people understand the seriousness of battle in spiritual warfare. It was a little too heavy to do for some of the younger audiences, but we got to do it at churches and the beach. (for evangelism)
I will write more later, when I can really gather my thoughts and write cohesively. I have 4 hours 15 minutes sleep last night. ;)

so it's been a week of outreach...

2009-09-24T20:40:00.006-07:00

Wow, how is it possible to sum up seven days of intensity and God showing up? It isn't.
But here's an idea.
the YWAM Tyler KK-DTS (aka us) arrived at First United Methodist Church in Abilene last Thursday at about 4. I got to be part of a group that visited the inmates at a prison, and it was an amazing start to the cool things God did. I got to talk to a woman that was really hungry for God, and I prayed for God to show up to her personally. The only thing I really remember that I told her is that we have to get to the end of our ropes before we can hold onto what God has to give. And in tears, she told me that she thought she was there. It was really cool to see God show up in that room, full of women who had made the wrong choices but were being offered the same grace and chance that all of us have.
And that was just Thursday. Friday we went to the mall for a "treasure hunt" which was where we prayed for God to give us specific locations, appearances, etc and then we were to look for them and be open to talking to people ("friendship evangelism"). The things on my list didn't pan out, but God took me into a shoe store where I saw a poster that absolutely broke me. There was a picture of a girl that couldn't have been more than 10. She was in full grown-up makeup and posed with a pout on her girlish lips, and God just broke my heart over the sexualization of young girls. If you read this, please say a quick prayer of protection over these young ones that are being shaped by the media and society.
Saturday I worked at the Palm Street House (knocking out ancient stucco from the bottom of the house), which is a 125 year old house that the church we are working with have been trying to get up and running for 5 years--a place to reach out to community...and we have made so much progress! Sunday we did both services with our drama "The Clincher" (about the Gospel, really) and then...we had a youth time that night that we just hung out with the kids... :)
Monday, work day at the Palm House, which meant hours of painting. Tuesday we cleaned the sanctuary. Wednesday (was that really yesterday?) was another block of hours painting, and then the youth group that night, which we ran.
Today...the Brazil clown team (including me) entertained preschoolers with skits, games, and songs for 45 minutes. It was exhausting, but fun. Okay, mostly ;) I scared myself when I first looked in the mirror at my clown makeup ;).
So I guess that pretty much catches up the week. Wow...and we have a day off tomorrow, which is good :) That'll be awesome. I love YWAM. This has been a great journey.

Breaking, beauty, and bubbles

2009-08-27T19:02:00.003-07:00

God is so good. I am so glad He doesn't hesitate to make me uncomfortable to do what He wants to do in my life, even if it does absolutely feel impossible to go through. I would probably never grow. I am so glad that He is breaking me. It is the best thing that could possibly happen.

I'm starting to learn that real beauty is so not from the outside, but shines from what Jesus does on the inside. For beauty to be real, it has to be deeper than looks. I'm so glad. I'd much rather have a beautiful heart anyway.

As for bubbles, I am asking God to pop mine--all the things that I put up as excuses or defenses. I have definitely drawn those around myself in permanence, so it will be a process for them to all be demolished.

So that's just a snapshot of what's going on...God bless and may He do amazing things in your lives as well!

back to simplicity

2009-08-17T13:50:00.007-07:00

God is taking me back to the basic truths, back to simplicity, because I've learned them with my head but not my heart...
They seem so elementary that at times I want to discount them as something I'm learning. It's really more like re-learning.
some of them are:
1. I will fail when I do things in my own strength.
2. I don't have to perform.
3. Sometimes all I have to do is be.

These are some of the hardest things to admit or believe for me. God is working in a huge way. Please be praying that as I listen to him and believe what he says about me, there will be a radical change in my heart and life. I want to love him with all of my heart, soul, mind, strength, and life, but I need him to root in my heart TRUTH. These three are just a few examples.

As for the DTS program itself, it's been amazing, painful, and again...exhilarating. Last week was ministry prep week, which meant working on dramas and clown skits, talking about messages and testimonies, bruises and bonding. It was intense. God taught me so much about strength in weakness. He was so strong in my weakness last week, and when I thought that I couldn't go on, he gave me that extra energy and endurance I needed. It builds my faith when he does that, but it also gives me tons of joy. I know that we'll be reaching people's hearts in Brazil, not just their minds, because I have had that experience, and I know that God will show me how to share that in a way that makes sense. Please be praying for wisdom as I prepare my testimony and message for outreach. Thanks!

love in Christ,
Camila

a week of turmoil, finally concluded

2009-08-03T14:21:00.008-07:00

Hey all,
this week was definitely pretty ground-shaking. It rocked me to the core of everything I am and made me question if I am even close to qualified for furthering God's Kingdom. Now I know that the answer is no, and if I had answered yes that I would be in a very dangerous place. I am begging God to break me of my pride, and I can tell that he is delighted with my prayer, because he's doing it! I am so grateful. I'm so sick of what I've become, so full of selfishness and self-consciousness. I am so looking forward to what he's going to bring forth as I love him and receive his love. He is so good!
I just found out the costs for Brazil are $2, 200. I would ask you to think and pray about giving towards this outreach (any amount helps) , but even if that's out of the realm of possibility I would appreciate you praying for the time now and the place that God is preparing. He is already doing so much; I can't wait to see what he does next!

just going to give you my address here in case God leads you to give:

YWAM DTS-KK

P.O. Box 3000

Garden Valley, TX 75571-3000

Love in Him,
Camila

time flies so slow...

2009-07-23T18:28:00.010-07:00

How is it possible that a week can go that fast? It's already Thursday evening! It's been a good week overall, with God challenging and stretching me. I am on a deadline for getting some finance needs met. I have to get all of my tuition in by the end of July, and I still need $140. I know that God will provide, and I am calling around, but I would appreciate your prayers for that money to come in.
On a much more exciting note, I finally know where I'm going on Outreach!! There are three groups of us, and we're going to three different places. My destination is Brazil, and I am so off-the-charts excited! We're going to be doing a lot of street evangelism, creative expression stuff, soccer camps, teaching classes, and it's going to be AMAZING. I knew it was Brazil when they gave us the three choices to ask God about because my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest! No, really. Ask anyone in my DTS. I am so excited. Thank God for peace!
Whew. I'm learning so much in so little time. God is incredible. Praise him!

~Camila~

So much happens in two weeks...

2009-07-14T09:14:00.008-07:00

So it's me again. Last week was amazing, painful, and insane all at the same time. Claude Bonjour came and spoke on the Father heart of God. and it just broke me, in a really good way. I was able to really accept and invite God's love in a real way, and it is already making such a difference. I am getting along with people pretty well, but I can always use more grace, wisdom, and understanding. I also still need $140 for my tuition, and then I'm raising about $1500-$2500 for outreach, so you can be praying for insight on who to call and whatnot. Otherwise, I really need prayer for perfect peace, and for me to keep my heart set on God. I am so excited about what God's going to do in the next few months!!!

Love in Him,
Camila

2009-07-07T09:44:00.002-07:00

So I got here to the YWAM Tyler base a week ago this past Friday, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be. God has already done so much, and I'm only at the beginning of the second week! We have such lovely worship times, and I have had such a sweet time just to spend with my Jesus. Please be praying for close fellowship with him and the people around me. I am already making good friends, but I need to be aware of not trying to get too close too fast. I miss all of you guys! all of you.

Love in Jesus,
Camila

Looking to God

2009-06-25T14:08:00.004-07:00

So tomorrow I head to the YWAM Tyler base, even though it's not in Tyler. I'm excited to see it again, since the last time I was here was June 2008!! :)
And there's people from last year (staff) that I already know, so that's exciting. :)
TOMORROW, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, You're only a day awayyyyyy.
Anyways, I've been staying with a mom and her three kids, two boys (almost 8 and 6) and a little girl who's three. It has been so fun, and I'll miss them, but I'm sure I'll see them again sometime :) Her husband is in Pakistan for two weeks and I can tell that his kids miss him. I hope I'll get to know them better some other time, since I'm only here for two days :)
I love life! Right now is a great time as well. :)

Texas Equals Muggy

2009-06-22T19:23:00.009-07:00

What they say about Texas, it's true. I took a shower this afternoon and then my hair didn't dry for like three hours ;)
Granted, I was in an air-conditioned hotel room, but still--weird. Life is just weird sometimes, like me detouring to Boston instead of just going to Tyler like I was supposed to. But I'm in Texas again, and I know it's the right thing. It's that gut feeling, that heart's assurance. Even as I'm scared of being away from my family and friends and boyfriend, I want to do this. But I need to stop trying to do it in my own strength. I am going into this with God holding my hand, and the only who keeps trying to pull away. I want to be there with Him, soaking in His life.
I am going to be okay. I would love prayer for the next months, whoever prays that is reading this.

Love from Texas,
Camila

profoundly strange moments

2009-04-19T21:19:00.011-07:00

I like profoundly strange moments. I don’t mean when you feel strange like when you might have eaten potato salad that may or may not give you food poisoning, or when you act strange like the time you may have decided that decidedly odd tights added something to your outfit. I mean when life is strange, and it carries you along because you’re there. I have hated ginger ever since I took capsules of it for motion sickness and at thirteen had a capsule of it dissolve when it was halfway down my throat and temporarily disable my taste buds from the scorch. (Is scorch a noun?). Today I was offered a peanut chew, which sounds sort of interesting to start with. I glanced at the package, saw that it said “ginger” on it, and immediately froze in my willingness. Still, since the person who handed it to me was very sweet and convinced I would like it, I smiled and put it in my pocket for later. About half an hour ago, I got up the nerve to try it. What’s the worst that could happen? I could just lose the function of my taste buds for a while, no big deal. So I took a deep breath and tore the wrapper off of the thing, and looked at it for a moment. It had some sort of powdered stuff on it and had the appearance of a tiny piece of Turkish delight. I love Turkish delight, so I stuck it in my mouth and began chewing. First, I tasted simply peanut, which was fine, and I expected. I tensed up considerably when I first tasted the slight sting of ginger, but I found that as I continued chewing, the sting became a very lovely but unfamiliar pleasure. In fact, I found that I could not only tolerate ginger, I liked it, much more than I ever could have thought.

I do not know why I felt pressed to write that down and capture it of all things, but I suppose moments that show you that your I-will-not-eat-this-on-any-terms-stubbornness can be broken are somewhat significant. But I will not ruin my musings with overanalyzing, if that’s even a word. I am content to look and expect more profoundly strange moments.

Starting again

2009-02-12T03:26:00.006-07:00

hey everyone,
it seems like every time I turn around, I am begging for another chance. I am so human, and I fall so easily. This time, leaving Boston, it really wasn't a failure, something I did wrong, it was just that it wasn't the right thing for me at that moment. I'm accepting it as another step in the journey. As for my life right now, I am reading two classics: "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "War and Peace". I'm also reading "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harrison, and that is challenging me not to settle for the status quo, to not be shackled by low expectations. God's been showing me that freedom, and also the freedom from fear of failure, my former #1 crippler.
I am determined to do big things for His kingdom, things outside my comfort zone. I am committing myself to be more than I think I can be, to reach for the stars and not be scared to fall.

resting in Him,
Camila

P.S. The only reason I'm up so late/early is because I'm transferring an entire four year's worth of e-mails to a new inbox and labeling/deleting. This is not a regular occurrence ;)

A Great Disappointment

2009-01-29T15:24:00.001-07:00

hey everyone,
so there's been a pretty big change of plans. I got sent home from YWAM Boston on Tuesday. It just really wasn't a good fit for me. Please be praying as I seek God for wisdom of what to do in the meantime and if He wants me to go to a DTS as soon as March or as distant as September.
It's been tough. I'll keep you updated.

In Him,
Camila

The Milestone of a Week

2009-01-21T20:03:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
so it's been one full week today that I've been here in Boston with CAWDTS (Creative Arts in Worship Discipleship Training School). It feels much longer. Even after only a little time with the other seventeen students, we're already getting so close. We're going to be an amazing team for God. Also, the speaker this week, Jill Bills, has been talking about hearing God's voice, and I have had such an amazing and transforming dialogue with Him! God is so good.
As for prayers, please pray that I will be willing to live my life with Him, day by day, listening to Him, doing His will, being his child. I am asking especially for grace for myself and for others, and for the ability to slow down and think about what I'm saying and doing. I am praying to learn how to just relax and not have to be the center of attention. That's a tough one for me.
God has done so much in just this one week! Think what He'll do in seven months!! :)

His girl,
Camila

First weekend here

2009-01-18T08:57:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
it was great to sleep in yesterday, after waking up at 7:30 or earlier the last few days. Yesterday was so cold, and they chose that one to walk us around Boston for a tour of all the historical sites. I'm not saying that it wasn't fun, but it was so cold that we had to stop inside Borders just to get warm for a while! We went back to the base and then most of us went sledding. That was fun, but pretty painful. I mean, you don't always stay on the sled. It was worth it though. Because it was so cold, it was also icy, which makes for a really fast run. Everyone here is nice, and I get along with them. I'm sure it'll be a great seven months.

signing off,
Camila

DTS: first full day!! :D

2009-01-15T20:01:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,
so I got into Boston at about 1:45 yesterday, and the rest of the day was sort of a whirlwind. I met my house leader, Amanda, and unpacked my stuff, and then got driven over to the base to meet everyone...we had dinner and then heard a lot of people's testimonies :)
We actually got back to the house where we were staying pretty late...but it was alright. I didn't sleep wonderfully last night, but I think it'll be better tonight. I actually have to go upstairs in about 5 minutes, but it was a day of mostly learning the guidelines and a basic schedule. I am so stoked about being steeped in God for seven months. I will be a well-brewed pot of godliness by the time he's through with moi :)

signing off as God's arts ambassador,
Camila

Anticipation

2009-01-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
I'm headed off to Boston tomorrow, and I still can't quite believe I'm really starting this! I am excited, really, but I am still feeling an urgent need for massive prayer waves. I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of public transport, and I'm sure I'll get used to it, but not by tomorrow ;)
My time here with James has been great. It's always hard to leave after a wonderful visit with him and his family. I've also gotten to spend some time with my cousins, which is lovely. I feel so at home at their house. I really don't have a gargantuan amount of news, but I'll be writing a long blog post about tomorrow as soon after it as I can get to my computer :)

Signing off,
Camila

New Haven

2009-01-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

hey everyone,
I'm here in New Haven finally. I actually got in closer to 8 than 9 last night, so that was lovely. It was a long day of traveling with two plane trips and a shuttle from the airport, but it was all worth it when I got here. The weather was crisp with an aftertaste of rapture. I love it here. I think I'm going to do just fine with the winter.
So...I'm happy. I'm here with James and his family for a bit before I head off on my very own adventure. God has lots in store for me. There's a lot on my heart and mind regarding Boston and the DTS, but for right now, I'm just going to enjoy the time I have. I'm going to live each moment to its fullest, relax, love where I am, and keep getting closer to God.

Signing off for now,
Camila

A new year

2009-01-06T13:37:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! :)
It really is January 2009, but i find that so hard to believe. I can't comprehend that a week from tomorrow I'll be starting a brand new seven-month adventure that will most likely change my life in a big way! This week is going quickly, drawing close to Friday when I actually leave.
I will be blogging about a lot of crazy stuff in the coming months. Keep checking back, all right?

Never Forget Him,
Camila Joy

2008-12-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

Holy cow, people! I just realized I haven't written anything in almost three months!
bad Camila. [reference to "The Emperor's New Groove"]
So....to make up for all of my neglect, I will write at LEAST every month, especially during my DTS. That's a promise.
So to start my December post, I want to say that I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions about this month. I always love seeing my family, but because two of my sisters are married, it's inevitable that I won't see them and their husbands every time. I am grateful that I am so close with my family, and that I do miss them, but it still is hard not to see them as much. Also, God has been doing big stuff with me, but unfortunately sometimes I put up such tough defenses and He can't get through to me as easily. I need to keep being not only teachable but trusting. Trust has been a big theme in my life recently, as much with people as with God. I'm working on it, but it's a painful process sometimes.
For all of you that are putting your hearts back together , I am right there with you. Let's stay in community and love and be loved. I'm a perpetual runaway, but since someone prayed that I would feel this cord holding me to God when I try to turn away, it's better. I am staying even as it feels impossible to, as God gives me the grace.
I don't understand much of anything, and the more I think I do, the more I get confused. So I have decided to go back to the beginning.

Never Forget (Him),
the Skywriter

My First Long Short Story

2008-09-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,
so I'm in this amazing Creative Writing class at MCC, and my 8-15 page short story was due this week. Well...it's the first long short story I've ever written, and I've been fussy and jittery over it all week. I finally finished it yesterday for me class last night, and I am really happy with it. :)
It's 12 pages double-spaced, and much more serious and intense than any of my other stuff :)
Writing is so fun.
Apart from that, I am just continuing to learn and work, on school and on singing and on relationships. There's always more to learn about the people around you :)
For anyone who's sad, remember that there's Someone who always cares and will always listen. :)

Never Forget (Him),
Camila

Yesterday's attack

2008-09-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
before you get too freaked out, I am talking about a spiritual attack. It's still serious, but it's not like a guy came and mauled me or something. Just so you know...
So yesterday, I was pretty happy and content, and then suddenly I felt overwhelmed by this WAVE of depression. I've struggled with depression before, but this was something a lot bigger than just me. I was discouraged and stressed out and consumed with self-hatred, and it took a few people with truth to help dig me out of my despair, but praise the Lord.
I will ask all of you praying folk to intercede for me, because I am still struggling with insecurity and doubt, but I am doing much better than yesterday. As one of my songs says, "I'm breathing the air of another day, choosing to go another way. And as for the options I am to explore, there's so many more. I'm never going to stop, as long as I'm alive."

So...what else is going on? Well, I am going to have my first official recital in November, for singing of course. I'm excited and nervous at the same time, but mostly excited!
I am in an amazing Creative Writing class, which is helping me grow and even letting me help others grow. I have an 8-15 page story that's due this Thursday, so needless to say I am working my tail off to get that done, and hopefully still pretty good quality in spite of being short term. :)
hmmm...I don't know if I have a ton more to say, but I'll keep you posted. Get it? Posted?
Never mind.

Never Forget (Him),
Camila Joy

Life in the crazy lane

2008-09-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
it's me again. I had an amazing day, but it was also tiring as well. I am feeling more comfortable and also less comfortable with college, in that I like it but it is also more challenging. Which is good. I think I confuse myself sometimes ;)
Anyway, for anyone who was hoping for some details of my trip to New Haven, I am writing a little bit here. I was going mostly to visit my boyfriend James and his family, and that was a wonderful time. But some memories are cheapened when spread over a page, so I won't say too much about it.
College is crazy, and challenging, and good for me. I am learning to work hard at things I may or may not like to do. It's an important skill. And when I want to slack off, I have the incentive of getting online to blog, or e-mail, or facebook, or talk to James. It keeps me on track.
So I'm taking Spanish, Drawing I, Math, and Introduction to Fiction Writing. They keep me busy, but I have good teachers, and I am confident that I can do well. I'll just do my best.
I suppose I don't have a lot more to write about, so tata for now.

Never forget Him,
moi

College!

2008-08-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

hey everyone,
I started community college yesterday, with my Spanish 102 class. I really like the teacher, and there are some cool people in there as well, including my "compadres a la mesa" (gr check?) and some writers in the group. Can't wait to talk to them and find out what they write! :D
College agrees with me, but i am soooo tired. I woke up at 4:15 this morning for no apparent reason, and I didn't go back to sleep. All I have to say is that I AM taking a nap today, even if it's just a short one.
I leave to visit New Haven tomorrow! Time flew.

Never Forget (Him),
moi

My New Job....and other random details

2008-07-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, there's so much to say about today!
I woke up at 6:30 sort of groggy, because I went to California this weekend and
am still rather sleep deprived. I went to work (Wendy's) at 8:OO and found yet another manager (on loan for two weeks apparently). I shadowed people at the register, did a lot of running for fries and frosties during the lunch rush, and generally just stayed on my feet. Some funny happenings:
It got so hot behind the counter that I actually liked wiping down the tables and chairs just to be able to be in a cooler place...so at one point, I asked if I should go do that, and got an affirmative, and sort-of-subconsciously grinned and did a mini victory dance. EVERYONE laughed at that, because apparently people really hate that job. I don't, so it makes them happy. "She's really easy to please," they were saying, and I felt silly, but oh well...it works for me.
Oh my word, and there was this adorable little boy playing on the rail in the line, and I walked by and he grinned at me and said "Hi!" so I said hi back and his mom told him to get off the rail. Such a cute Hispanic kid, with big brown eyes and black hair :)
And now for a few embarrassing moments-I know you were waiting for those :P
So there was an order up with a small frosty on the tray, and I was hurrying fries to the next tray over, and I dropped a fry in the frosty, and I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't just LEAVE it there....so I grabbed it with my fingers, avoided the amused faces of the woman and her daughter, and went to wash my hands in the sink of humiliation :P
So it was a cool day...feel free to leave comments, eh? :)

Never Forget Him,
moi

Finally...I have a job!

2008-07-17T12:47:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone~
I went in for my orientation at Wendy's today! So I am starting my actual job on Tuesday. I'm pretty excited. I feel like I don't have much news....
I am going to California this weekend, and I am going to see some of my best friends in the whole world!! Okay, too many exclamation points. Whew. I love my life. I really do.
I have been reading, writing songs, working on a new story, and daydreaming....the best pastimes ever.

Never Forget Him,
moi

why?

2008-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
I called this post "why?" because I think that is the question that is asked most often by children and least often by adults. I think that we miss something important when we don't ask it.
As is probably apparent, I am in a pensive mood about various things. This is the best time to write. :)
My summer is not terribly eventful right now, but it is peaceful. I am getting a lot of swimming and free-reading time in these days. And blogging time ;)

Adieu for now,
moi

summertime

2008-06-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Hey there everyone,
so it's really summer. It's finally sinking in. I suggest all of you go and listen to "Summertime" by Kenny Chesney, for your supreme enjoyment. :)
Anyways, I went to a job interview for In 'N' Out this morning, and I think it went fantastically. We'll see what they thought of me. I am ashamed to say that I've mostly been a lazy bum, and haven't done a lot of productive or constructive things thus far. I am determined to do several things this summer including:
~get a real tan (mostly for the poor people I blind every time they see my white legs :P)
~learn how to cook
~finish writing my novel
~work on my guitar-playing skills
etc. :)

Love you peoples,
Moi

more about arts camp!

2008-06-17T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all,
you can tell that I was in Texas this past week ;) So, I want to tell everyone about arts camp.
As I said before, it was mainly and intensely a dance camp, which I didn't know before I arrived.
Altogether, each group learned the same three dances in a week, and then we performed them for ministry that weekend. On Friday, we went to Dallas. There were two places my group went that evening, to a neighborhood with a lot of Hispanic immigrants. It was fun to dance for the kids there, but more than anything I loved playing with them. I got to hold little girls that hadn't gotten a lot of love assuming from how much they soaked it up, and hold the rope for them to jump. I felt like God was really reaching people through us. The next place we went was more inside of the city, called "West End", and there was such a feeling of darkness and oppression over that place. My group and I danced on the street corner, and then prayed with some people afterwards, but there didn't seem to be that much response. I went back on the bus feeling kind of depressed, but that emotion melted like ice cream once all the groups were back together and we started worshipping. It was a really good time. That was the overnight trip on Friday.
Then, on Saturday, we went to a WATERPARK for ministry. It was a lot of work to dance in black shirts and jeans in the hot sun, but we got to swim afterwards so it was totally worth it. I got totally sunburned on my face and neck. And I totally sound like a valley girl :P
On Sunday we performed at a mall, and that was really fun. Then it was suddenly Sunday night and everyone was saying goodbye. It's an amazing group of people, and it was a little sad to leave, but I was glad that I was going back home.

Blessings,
Me

Camp in Texas: Insane but Exhilarating :)

2008-06-10T18:08:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all, :)
I am in Texas for a week of arts camp, and it is basically incredibly tiring but amazing as well.
Dancing every day, hardcore. :)

more later,
me

wow it's been forever. :)

2008-06-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

okay so...I can't believe it's been this long since I posted about my life!
so much has happened.
let me see if I can catch you guys up. ;)
since August 2007, I have done a lot more than sit on my hands.
In August 2007, I started my first and last year of public high school. It was a lot of transition, but definitely a good challenge and helped me grow in my faith. In the first two months of hip hop, I had two pairs of shoes stolen because I didn't put a lock on my locker. That was a major reality check, and it also made me pretty upset. I put a lock on it. :)
I turned seventeen on October 22nd, at which time I made some solid resolutions, which crumbled by Thanksgiving.
In December 2007, the entire Hervey clan was present for Christmas in California, including my two big brothers (in-law, but we're close). That was amazing.
In January 2008, nothing really amazing happened.
In February 2008, I got back in touch with James, a good friend and someone I'd had a huge crush on for a while. I hadn't talked to him in three years.
In March 2008, I was struggling with Math a lot, and worrying if I was going to pass that stupid (sorry, math lovers) Algebra II.
In April 2008, on the twelfth, James asked me to be his girlfriend. This was interesting and amazing both, considering that it was over skype (IM) and that he lives in Connecticut. However, it's been the greatest adventure for me. I miss him and am planning to visit him this September.
In May 2008, I went to my senior Prom, and it was great, but I was wishing I could dance with James. Then on the 22nd of May, I graduated from high school! :) THAT was an awesome day.
And now it's June. I am off to a week of arts camp with Arts With a Misson, full of amazing times. I'm so excited. I'll write about it when I come back, or I might possibly have computer access this week :)

Love from Arizona,
Me

It's been too long

2007-08-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Peoples,
It's been far too long since I've written something on here. :)
I started my first and last year of public high school, and I love it!!
my classes are, in order of periods:
hip hop dance
earth science
spanish II
lunch
algebra II
photography
AP lit

I am learning to break (known as breakdancing to many of you) in my hip hop class, and it's so fun and crazy and hard. I love my other classes, except maybe Algebra II.

random thought of the day:
i wish it would rain. it's larkin' hot here!!!!

Never Forget,
Camila J. Hervey

In Boston

2007-07-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Peoples,
I am in Boston with my sister Felisa, and have been having a great time.
My main focus this summer has been my novel, which I have been working on.
My second focus has been to keep in touch with my friends. And my third focus has been to memorize Colossians. :D
I know I haven't written much. I guess my days haven't been very...eventful.

Never Forget,
Camila

Back from Camp

2007-06-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

Hey All,
I just got back from camp in northern California, and it was amazing.
I don't have much news, but I am helping with VBS (Vacation Bible School) this week,
and it's really fun and really tiring.

Never Forget,
Camila

Thinking About Seniorhood :)

2007-05-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

Hey All (friends and strangers),
I am almost done with my junior year of highschool!
It is really quite odd to think I'll be a senior next year.
I don't feel old enough to be there yet.
And I'm very excited about turning 17 in October 2007. :)
At the same time, I want to be mature and fit that age...
does that make sense? I hope so.

random thoughts:
I'm glad the sky is blue and not some strange yellow or green.
I am going to have a good year next year based on my approach and attitude, not the circumstances.

Never Forget,
Camila

My Sister's Graduation (and of course etcetera)

2007-05-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Humanity in General,
I went to my sister Emily's graduation from college this morning.
But I went through a lot just to get here. :P
On Friday morning, my family and I started out on a drive
that lasted about 25 hours. My parents drove overnight and
my brother and I tried to sleep.
Anyways, enough complaining.
This morning, I wore a very not warm outfit and it was drizzling and very cold.
Thankfully, there was a fleece blanket and my sister Felisa and I wrapped it around
ourselves. So we were warm.
And of course. my etcetera.
Life is crazy but you gotta love it. :D

Never Forget,
Camila

Just Some Semi-scattered Thoughts

2007-05-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

Hi...not sure how to address you.
Friends? but some of you are family.
and some of you are strangers.
So...humanity in general. there. I suppose that works for now.
hah.

Dear Humanity in General,
I am doing fine, in the simplest sense of the word. My room is a mess, I'm behind on schoolwork, and am being an American teenager. Suffice it to say that on the outside, I look a lot like anyone else.
But my life--my experiences--have definitely changed me.
As for updates on the things that I have posted, that school was good and the people there were friendly. However, a year in internet school has made it hard for me. It's much easier to type words to someone on the other side of a computer than actually talk to the person standing right in front of me. It's hard. But hopefully...I'll learn how to be myself in the truest sense, and come out of this year more confident and beautiful inside and out.

I write a lot of poems and songs. I would post them on here but I don't trust everyone on the internet, and for good reason. :)

Never Forget,
Camila

Visiting a Possible School

2007-05-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hey all you amazing folk,
I am visiting a school today that I might go to for my senior year!
I am sitting through a few classes before lunch and then going to lunch there too.
I'm really excited about this...to say the least. On other subjects...hmm.
I am unfortunately not writing more of my novel right now, because of dratted schoolwork.
In the summer, I plan to finish the entire first draft. :D

Never Forget,
Camila

Mondays are Opportunities for Good Attitudes and Hard Work

2007-05-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hey All,
it's Monday again. I am determined to get a lot of work done, catch up, and feel really good about it. Please pray about the choice of a school for me next year. Mom and Dad are still figuring that out. Anyways, this'll be a shorty because I really don't have much time to do ANYTHING but school. But for all of you discovering my blog that I know and love, know that I miss you. I miss so many people all over the world. I HATE time zones.
With that said, even through my crazy MK life, God is good and faithful. I am grateful that he's there for me to come back to, even when i wonder and fall into swamps.
A few random thoughts...
~I'm thinking about writing a stream of consciousness book :D wouldn't that be fun to try to read? :P
~I am SO looking forward to real school next year!

Alrighty. Time to sign off.

Never Forget,
Camila

It's Over, and I'm Doing Well

2007-05-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Peoples,
YES YES YES!!!
I am so done with the SAT!!!
I got up at 6:30 this morning,
and after getting home at 1:20 pm, I am exhausted.
For everyone who still has to take it, just don't stress. I
f you don't stress, you'll be fine. :)
Anyways...I am here at home relaxing.

Never forget,
Camila

One Day at a Time

2007-05-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,
I know that a lot of people won't be reading this at first. But it's a way for me to get some of my feelings and thoughts out in a concrete form.
I titled this the way I did because I have a way of worrying about tomorrow. Even though God tells us not to worry at all, I constantly find myself worrying--especially about school.
Let this be a reminder to all of us to take hold of the moment, of the day. Let us live as if this is our only day. Every time I wake up, I tend to think that I want to go back to sleep. I can't enjoy the day with that perspective!! I am going to let myself soak in moments.
It doesn't have to be big things. A hug from a loved one, saying "i love you" and meaning it, working hard at school because we're so blessed to have it, or even just stopping and breathing the air. God is good, and signs of his beauty and love are all around us. I feel like I was blind to everything. Sunshine isn't just for staying healthy, guys. It's for us to BASK in. Enjoy drinking and playing with water; it's very unique. :)
Love life, love God, and love people with everything you have.

Never forget,
~Camila~