Beauty and the Mess

The title of this post is also the name of one of my favorite Nickel Creek songs. It's just the way life is; the good with the bad, the bizarre with the normal, the beauty with the mess. That's one of the things that God's been teaching me, to take everything together, in stride, in peace. That doesn't mean that I let whatever I want into my life, but when stuff doesn't go the way I expect it to, He wants me to keep breathing, to let Him work through the problems or strangeness.

What an incredible God we have. He designed things to be perfect, and even though we mess a lot up, He's able to bring such unity and redemption and beauty to life.

I just want to learn how to keep abiding. If I could tattoo my soul, it would be the word ABIDE in large bold letters and probably in another language so it looks cool.

And these days have been chilly, but beautiful. :)

There's a TIme for Everything

My mind is so full that it's hard to even pull out solitary words. It's a mush of thoughts and ideas and concepts and new understandings. However, because I am a verbal processor, I will try to make sense of it all.

One of the things God has been showing me in different ways is the beauty and importance of balance in my life. He's been telling me that there's a time for everything I need to do in a day, and he doesn't put things in order to take the fun out of life, but to make it more meaningful. I'm still learning this in a sort of trial-and-error way.

Another thought I've been pondering is where my treasure really is, where my heart goes to be filled, what I value most. I want the answer to be "God" every time, but it isn't. There are all sorts of things that I place a high value on, activities and passions that vie for my attention. Writing, singing, socializing, and it goes on. I want to learn what it really means to love God, not just to be loved by Him.

So that's all for today, because I am fairly exhausted. Oh, and please pray against headaches. I'm so sick of them. Goodnight.

Beautiful Monday

I don't know if I've ever written about this, but I generally love Mondays, and this was a Beautiful Monday for various reasons. First of all, it was significantly warmer than it was this past week and weekend, and I therefore enjoyed being outside much more. Also after the afternoon class, I got to have a lovely, long, and much-needed nap. I ended up cozily in my sleeping bag until dinner :)

Second, there was the first small group meeting, and it was really good to discuss and hear from each other what we're processing. As some of you know, I am always thinking and my mind never stops--so it was really wonderful to get some of that out :)

Thirdly, God was just...around. And telling me stuff.

Tomorrow can be amazing too.

First Friday

I can't believe it's already Friday of the first week of SOE. I already know it's going to go so fast. I love coming back to see friends but this program is so much more than that. It's deeper, somehow going to be vital to the rest of my life. It's definitely more than a feeling, but I can't put my finger on it. But even in the last week, God has been so close and personal to me. I can honestly say that I have invited Him more fully into my life, to be present and active in what I choose and who I talk to, etc.

Oh, and it was 19 degrees F last time I checked.

crazy, huh?