But it's gone too far. It's an obsession. We are obsessed with finding someone, some job, some house, some defining moment, some drink, some song, some book, some artist...and the list goes on. Someday we'll be happy if...
Maybe we can be happy when...
I think we should absolutely have goals in our lives, and people to share our lives with. But we shouldn't fool ourselves into thinking that with the acquisition of some new passion or relationship, we will suddenly be all-encompassingly happy. Our lives are right now, in this moment, not yesterday in the "if only I had done things differently" or tomorrow in the "if I just do things differently". Today we have to choose who we will be, and what our lives will be about. A happy, fulfilling life is just a bunch of those todays strung together. We don't even always make meaning out of them until later.
Maybe it's time for me to shift my focus. My happiness plans don't tend to pan out well anyways, and this intense focus on finding my fix or my niche or whatever just makes me feel more tired. I know it will take some time to break the habit; it's so well-formed. If I feel a little uncomfortable or the silence becomes too oppressive, my instinct is to put a TV show on. If I feel restless, sometimes it's shopping. Or a nap, that'll solve everything right? It just makes me feel more discontent. This gnawing for satisfaction is seemingly endless, a hunger not easily sated by anything for long.
Just to be clear, I'm not demonizing happiness itself. It has its place. If I was never ever happy, chances are that there might be some questions to ask myself. I'm saying that the unrelenting pursuit of it in abandonment of everything else or at the cost of everything else is nothing short of selfish, and even crazy.
My thoughts on this are not fully formed, but I am noticing that the more present I can be in each moment, the greater the capacity for feeling alive. Not every moment is going to be happy, but I can choose to be content in whatever emotion happens to be moving through me in that moment, and maybe that's even better.
My thoughts on this are not fully formed, but I am noticing that the more present I can be in each moment, the greater the capacity for feeling alive. Not every moment is going to be happy, but I can choose to be content in whatever emotion happens to be moving through me in that moment, and maybe that's even better.
This is a good message. Instead of pursuing things we think will make us happy, we should learn to be content and happiness will follow. I read about a study recently which followed people through life changes and found that there was no real correlation between happiness and status. If you get a good job and a good romance you can be happy, but if you lose everything and adapt to your new situation you can still be happy. We don't need to chase after happiness. We can learn to be content in any situation and happiness will come. :)
ReplyDeleteI believe the pursuit of happiness cannot come from an external source, not inherently.
ReplyDeleteIt has to come from within.
It definitely cannot come solely from another person. One must be happy with themselves before they are happy with others.
It can be from work, but it cannot be from financial gain alone. One must have love of the game to find happiness. Everything else will fall into place:
We should doggedly be in pursuit of happiness, and that happiness should be finding ourselves, our purpose in life.
My $0.02.
Thanks for the thoughts, Camila :) This reminds me of both John Piper and C.S. Lewis, both of whom wrote on the subject of joy with more than common insight. They maintained that that longing in our hearts is actually a longing for God, and that only in looking at God and drinking in His person could that longing be satisfied and joy spring forth, but as soon as we focus on the joy itself it dissipates.
ReplyDelete